July 2012
53 posts
“Because sometimes… the truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more....”
– Batman - The Dark Knight (via dchin617)
Anonymous asked: hey sexy ;) where do you live?
“You asked if I’ve managed before, yeah a house full of kids. Taught me how to...”
– Fiona (via fucking-gallaghers-caps)
“Also you never use toilet paper on your dick after you take a piss. Tap the end,...”
– Lip (via fucking-gallaghers-caps)
“Jimmy lives in Lake Forest with his doctor father and drunk mother. They think...”
– Debbie (via fucking-gallaghers-caps)
“It’s not masturbating if nothing comes out.”
– Carl (via fucking-gallaghers-caps)
Linda: (shows her husband the security tape) Does anything look different to you?
Kash: No.
Linda: You don't see the camera? It's like it moved just a little bit. There.
Kash: Register matches inventory.
Linda: Yeah, you're right. I should probably shut it off. But then I'd miss the part where you take it up the ass from a teenage boy. Here it is. Billy cornholing the father of my children. Must be big, judging from the grimace on your face.
Doctor: Have you ever done a testicular self-examination?
Frank: Oh, God, no. I say leave those three bad boys down there alone.
Doctor: Yeah, well, that's the problem. Should only be two testicles invited to this party.
